I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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