FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
