3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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