I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
