For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
