I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
