Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
