i permit you to call me
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
