I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
