I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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