I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
