but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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