Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
