He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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