Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
