If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
