Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
do herpes really smell.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
