so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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