dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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