Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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