I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
