i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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