it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
