YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
