Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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