whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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