I just threw up on my dentist
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
