now i know why i became what i already was.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
