i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
4 words: hood of his car
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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