I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My penis needs a shock collar
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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