I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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