Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
