Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
