hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
