How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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