I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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