I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
