hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
