I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
