We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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