hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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