Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Found the puke drawer
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
