Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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