Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
