Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
