My cat gives me a boner
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
