Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize