One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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