I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
