I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize