it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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