He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
