Betty ford says i'm here all night
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Found your dick twin last night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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