You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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