i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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