The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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