she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
