your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
