You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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