I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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