I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
