Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
