Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
