It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
