yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
wow bdsm is so cute
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
