**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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